"What, then?" A New Year's Meditation
An acknowledgement of the moment, and a thought on how to make it matter.
Let us say at New Year’s, for many may need to hear it: rarely will resolutions work.
Not, at least, to serve their intended effect. Often they will induce guilt and anxiety, more often they will only come and go. Seldom will they fulfill their function as transformers. Indeed, if we have learned anything from the past two years it might be this: that the ancient adage about god laughing at plans is truer than we even imagined.
And yet, the occasion of a new year still greets us with purpose.
Constant change is our bedrock, but it can hum along at a low enough volume that we too easily get used to it. Because of this, we need moments. Our capacity to recognize them waxes and wanes, but when they are big enough, and when they are shared, most of us will take notice. It wouldn’t be a stretch to imagine this is why such moments evolved in the first place. They are nothing short of essential.
One need not do anything in particular at these moments (although a bit of ritual is always recommended). Instead, one might consider framing them this way: what, then?
We have a chance to see that all of life is, indeed, cyclical. What, then?
We are snapped out of our usual rhythms of time and routine, and can see that they are figments. What, then?
We become fully oriented to joy, if only for a time. What, then?
We say goodbye and hello simultaneously, and we understand it. What, then?
Should you attempt to explore the answers, understand: there are no laws. The approach of another need not be yours. If a given process doesn’t work, discard it. if process itself doesn’t work discard that, too.
You may, however, need some guardrails. Most of us do.
To that end, it may be helpful to use this lens: awareness, acceptance, engagement. While not absolute, more often than not these steps, in this order, will aid in developing a deeper understanding.
All movement from one place to another must begin with being aware. To see — truly see — where you are, right now, is a prerequisite for purposeful transition.
Once you see it, you have to stop fighting it. You need to accept that it is — not that you like it, not that you can’t deal with it, but that it is true.
Finally, you can engage. Not “be a part of action” — which is the day-to-day reality for most of us — but act. Whatever that looks like (and it might, from the outside, look like nothing).
This is a Cliff’s Notes version of a Cliff’s Notes version of very important ideas, ideas that aren’t originally mine. I do not suggest that it is complete or even profound, only that, at this moment, it may be useful.
We all want a more perfect way to be. But how often do we consider how much we have done in imperfection?
Perhaps you do not regard yourself as having achieved. It is the great misfortune of many to not. But you have.
By virtue of your being here, you have. By virtue of those who love you (even if you doubt them or even don’t know their names), you have. By the simple act of considering change, you have.
This is to say nothing of the work you have done, the people you have nurtured, the communities to which you have contributed, if you have chosen to do those things.
Your arrival at this moment is a grand achievement in spite of imperfection, and you bring to it all you have learned and all you wonder. Embrace this.
Even a half step in a new direction from here is significant. Indeed, even a half step back from here is significant.
From this moment on, then, if you are a seeker, it’s all credits. Each movement, however tiny it may seem, will prove itself to have played a role.
If you do not believe me, that’s good. You shouldn’t.
Instead, let us check back next December.
Finally, thank you for reading the three issues of Scrolls that I published in 2021. There will be more to come in 2022, although I will resist the urge to make promises about how that looks. Instead, please stay tuned and, if you like what you’ve seen so far, please share. It means a ton to me when you do.
See you soon.